Fork? What Fork?

16 Jun

Reader be warned! A poem this isn’t,
It’s a fucking abomination
A disjointed tract to decry
The absurdities of this nation:

The Internets,
Where civility and humility go die,
Where wilful ignorance and narcissism lie.

This is the age of stupidity,
Of not shaming people for their choices,
Or being one of those dreaded dissenting voices;
Of shallowness disguised as “positivity”.

If you chose to do it to yourself,
There’s nothing to argue:
All is good and well.

Anyone who tells you otherwise
Is just jealous of your specialness,
Of your freedom and originality
Of your inherent worth and individuality.

Shhhhh! But if you insult them enough times
Dissenters will just evaporate…
Into thin air.

Fork? What fork? I don’t see no goddamn fork in there! I have real choices. Choices I like! I am completely free and not influenced by external forces in any way whatsoever. Lose-lose situation? What a ridiculous notion. It was probably invented by some big meaniehead who hates people with subversive choices and imaginative self-expression. Why do some people have to be sooo negative? And why aren’t you worshipping me like a celebrity yet? And who is Morton?

– A typical fuckhead exhibiting symptoms of what I’ve described above. Sadly, this species is nowhere near endangered.

No, really

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Posted by on June 16, 2012 in Rants



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